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~stryda

Andrew Fernandes
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Die foul sparrow said his twisted thought spiral..

Sat Nov 29, 2003, 8:47 PM
Im someone that thinks alot, I think its unhealthy the amount of time I spend brooding and plotting. Its unhealthy that sometimes trivial a sentence I say to my girlfriend can hours later that night keep me from sleeping cuz I thought it upset her. Which I KNOW in reality is foolish but cant help myself anyway.

Something else has entered my brain... I dont like being at the forefront of someones inside joke.
The other night this guy who I have never met/seen but know only from this gaming clan thought it would be funny to throw racial abuse my way. He continually called me a "Paki" and other muslim slurs. Now Im neither of these, but to a fool a mistake often made. As I have brown skin and black hair... Im proud of my strange hybrid mix of Fillipino and Portugese/Goan blood.
Now at the time I didnt think much of his lil remarks which he did to get me angry. I shrugged it off as stupid childish abuse.
BUT today after reading about more of this guys rants about asians I REALLY cant help but feel this guy is a small minded, white upper-class/Fwa-Fwaa racist. Now I know alot of you are reading this and are thinking so FUCKING WHAT some dick-head said something about you on the INTERNET. Yea, fair point...LOL the net is TOO fickle for you to take it seriously.
BUT heres where its strange if the guy has never seen me before how could he of made the mistake that I MAY be asian or whatever. And this led me to think about the only connection that I have with the guy. Mat, the guy in my class who introduced me to the clan in the first place. Has he been saying stuff about me behind my back to them? Is "Paki" what he refers to me as to them? To others?
I doubt it... I dunno. Im just getting paranoid in the wee hours of the morning. This twisted thought stream of mine is unhealthy and keeps me from sleeping...

To wrap up...
I HATE RACISTS!
I need some sort of medication for my brain.
I need to sleep more.
Im a FUCKING idiot!

I thank you. :)
4 Comments

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:icontantivevi:
~tantivevi Nov 29, 2003, 11:41:10 PM
Nonsense, you're none of those things, with the possible exception of sleep deprived, which online gaming can do to anyone. I know youve already thought it, but its really not worth worrying what people think of you. You're cool, your friends know that. If you worry and stress about what red necks think about you, you'll worry yourself straight to a stomach ulcer or an early grave. I got the stomach ulcer, that was enough of a wake up for me, i used to worry all the time too. Start with some sleep, that should help, then forget what morons say. If that doesnt help, you should go on a killing spree and take em out :) Call me when you do, i hate racists too.

I must admit though, venting on DA is probably healthier than killing people. Maybe. :)
:iconvladimirsangel:
~vladimirsangel Nov 30, 2003, 2:31:09 AM
You're not a fucking idiot. A lot of humans are just dumb and insensitive...sad and cruel but there it is...and everyone needs to vent a little spleen from time to time.

I get that thing where a thought goes round and round in my brain till it drives me nuts too, by the way. Sadly it seems to be a common affliction :D

--
"My fall will be for you...
...you were the one to cut me, so I'll bleed forever."
:iconmiraikazuya:
~miraikazuya Nov 30, 2003, 8:55:07 PM
Not fucking idiot o_o;;


No, not fucking idiot o_o;;;

That son of a bitch ought to be castrated so his kind can't propagate.


I HATE RACISTS too O_X And I get a lot of it being a weird mongrel myself. All Australian, part New Zealand Pakeha, part Malaysian-Chinese. Basically eurasian so I cop random asian and eurpoean slurs at random times...

In short, you're not parannoid and idiots like that should DIE DIE DIE.

If someone is going to make stupid slurs for the HFIL of it and abuse people because they're not a redneck hick-town internet junkie with his pubes glued to the computer chair, then just ignore them...because we all know we're ALL better than that, and we can laugh at them because of their patheticness ^_^

--
My heart beats unassisted - I'm all natural, baby.
:iconryutora:
~ryutora Dec 1, 2003, 10:28:45 PM
Right: First of all, from that slur only, you could get him banned.

Secondly, if he has a lack of vocabulary, go and tell him to read more books. People like him just like to use words towards people at will for no reason other to cause a stupid, ignorant rift. Take action to get him banned from the site. I've been at the firing line of racist insults and xenophobia as well, the only way for them to learn and to get others to notice is for something rather bad to happen to them. Thus, banning him.

Stryder, don't think about it too much. I know it's hard to do (victim of the " what if" train of thought, I am). Feel better, alright?

:cookie:

rT

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